CITY VIEW: A life in hiding no more

Lisa Stroud knew from a young age that though born a boy, she was truly a girl. She lived a double life while working in a male-dominated factory and raising a son. But she's now fully embraced her true self. 

LISA STROUD was born in west Hamilton and knew from a very young age that though she was born a boy, she was meant to be a girl. She had a 35-year career as a pipefitter/gasfitter/plumber at ArcelorMittal Dofasco and raised a son with an ex-wife. During her working years she lived a double life, and only expressed herself as a woman outside of the factory. After retiring in 2007, she decided to live as Lisa full-time and had gender-affirming surgery in 2020 at the age of 67. She’s now taken up acting and modelling and has been in more than a dozen productions since 2021.

Where did you grow up?

In Hamilton, in the west end. My grandparents lived on our street, Stroud Road. It was named after them and Stroud Park is at the end. The original farmhouse is still here and my grandfather built the house beside it. It's still there. I went to Prince Philip school, which is gone, and then I went to Dalewood and then to Westdale. I was the baby, with an older sister and brother. 

What was your childhood like? 

I had a pretty lonely childhood, only because I had this feeling inside and yet I wanted to be like my brother, because he was very athletic. I played baseball. I played hockey. When I got to Westdale, they wanted me to play football because I was big, which I did, but I just wanted to dress up, right. I mean, I got caught so many times, so many times. My sister tells me I was three when she and my mother first caught me dressing up. I guess I was about 14 or 15 and my mom gives me a package. I open it and it’s bras and panties. And she said, “Now stay out of my stuff.” That was the best thing. I found out later from my sister and that (my mom) was going to doctors and talking about it. They told her it was just a phase and I would change. Wrong. I knew something was wrong, and I always thought I was totally alone. It was years before I ever heard the word transgender and I knew that was me.

Was your dad aware? 

I don't know what my dad knew (when I was a kid). But after I got divorced, he called me into the bathroom, and we had a nice talk, and I told him I can't go on with this. And he made me promise that I would treat people how I wanted to be treated. I told him I never disrespect anybody. He ended up dying a little later. He died in my arms of a heart attack and then my mother died a year and a half later. 

What was it like to work in such a male-dominated work setting?

I applied for the fire department but when it came to the physical part, I didn’t do well. So I applied for Dofasco and got a call right away. I went into the labour pool. Then I lucked out and they sent me to Humber College for training. I went to different places in the plant but I ended up in central maintenance. Every week was something different, which I loved. But I stayed to myself. I didn’t socialize. I came to work, did my job and went home. After I got divorced, I met a man and we were together until he unfortunately died in 2000. I felt that I had to be very careful with anything I said at work, so I didn’t say much but I was still verbally assaulted for 30 years.

In 1998, I had a major, near-fatal accident. I fell off a ladder. I was off for 61 months and had 16 operations, on both elbows both knees, some discs in my back. I returned (to work) to repair tools for about a year but then that shop was shut down and I was forced to retire. 

Why did it take you so long to fully embrace your transition?

I was going to the Clark Institute (in Toronto) for group sessions. I went for five years because I had to prove this is what I wanted. There were people there who ended their life because they lost their kids and their families and their jobs (when they came out as trans). They lost everything. When I got divorced, my son was four years old. I knew I couldn’t risk losing him. So I just kept living a double life. I regret I didn’t do it sooner but I am blessed. Both my ex and my son say they have never seen me so happy.

What was the reaction of your ex and your son to your transition?

One day in 2014, I called my ex and my son and said I wanted to have them over for dinner. My ex is a typical Jewish mother and she goes, “What do you want to tell us? Why do you want to have dinner?” I said, “Settle down, we'll have dinner, we'll have a glass of wine, then I'll tell you.” So that's when I told them. I said, “I'm actually going through with this. I can't live anymore as him.” She turns to me and says, “What took you so effing long?” My son said, “Why don’t you just carry on dressing up, Pops?” I told him he just didn’t understand. He’s been super. My son drove me to my surgery in Montreal and 10 days later he came back and drove me home. The surgeon and nurse told him, you've got to take it easy. You’ve got to stop every hour. It took a long time to get home.

What’s been a challenge after your transition?

I’ve had wonderful doctors but I’ve also had doctors who don’t know anything about trans people. Getting my hormones right has been difficult, so I’ve been losing hair and breaking nails. I’m cold all the time. I was once 305 pounds and now I’m 150 pounds. And I’m really emotional, too. I cry at everything. But it’s getting better now. 

You’ve been in news articles, featured in a TV program and had your story told in a book called Steel Closets: Voices of Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Steelworkers. Why have you chosen to be so outspoken and public about your life?

I want, wherever I can, to help the up and coming. I've had a few speaking engagements, including at the Trans Day of Remembrance on Nov. 20 and the Trans Day of Visibility on March 31 and at fundraisers. I’ve been through a lot and for a long time, I thought I was alone, the only one like me. My son thinks I should write a book. 

Has acting always been something you aspired to?

Well, I've been acting all my life. I pretended I was a boy for most of my life. How it all started with the film and TV, I saw a post on Facebook and it said they were looking for extras. I didn't know what that meant, I won't lie, but I put my name in and all of a sudden they called. It was in Dundas. It was a comedy called Pink Is In. 

I love every form of art. I like to sketch, I like to draw. I love photography. And now my new love is acting. I’ve played a trans woman caring for a spouse with dementia in Help Us Remain. I've been very fortunate. I've been in a dozen movies. The latest one, I don't know if it's still playing or not, was called Trap. It’s an action-packed movie with Josh Hartnett.

You have been attacked twice. Can you tell us about that?

I was sexually assaulted almost three years ago. It was mid-afternoon, right out in the open, right out on the street. I was waiting for a friend. Then a year ago, I was leaving The Well (a queer bar), late at night. I don't go out that often, but I was asked to come down because one of the performers I've known for years, it was her birthday. I don't know if (the assailant) followed me out or they were waiting. I was walking to my car. It was definitely a hate crime. I was wearing the Star of David and I’m trans. I got attacked from behind and they punched me repeatedly. I lost many teeth and couldn’t do any (acting) roles for seven months.

The community rallied around you after your attack and helped you with the cost of replacing your teeth. What was that like?

I was staying in my apartment. I felt embarrassed. I couldn't eat much. I had to put everything on a credit card because my insurance wouldn’t cover anything. I couldn’t work for months. But then there was a GoFundMe started by the head of a casting agency and I got some money from the police through a victims’ fund. There was another GoFundMe started by Wolfe, (a leader in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community) who lives here in Hamilton. People raised about $17,000 or $18,000. The total was about $28,000 for five implants. I didn’t want to accept anything. I have never had my hand out for anything in my life. So this has been different for me, but I’m very grateful.

What event do you look forward to in Hamilton?

Pride, Festival of Friends and events at museums and art galleries. 

How do you enjoy your spare time?

I love getting in the truck with no agenda and just going wherever we end up – a fair or a farmers’ market. I don't want to have a plan. Go where the road leads you. There are times when I love being by myself. I come down here to the waterfront. I like to dream, and I like to draw and sketch.

Who inspires you? 

Well, I can tell you who inspired me for my art. That was Georgia O'Keefe. And for my writing and journaling, it's Keats. From a young age, it was my brother, I always want to be like him. But that didn't exactly work out.

What was your happiest day?

I had started hormones. I forget the actual date but I called my son. I said, “I'm giving you first dibs because I am getting rid of everything.” So I laid out all my clothes, all my shoes, everything on the bed, all my suits. I had nice suits, too, from Marvin Caplan. I had about five or six leather jackets. He took what he wanted and I got rid of the rest. That was important to me.

What’s your ideal way to spend a lazy day in the city? 

I like going the RBG Arboretum. I got a few spots that are out of the way to sketch and collect my thoughts. I like to write there, too. I go there often. 

Do you have a favourite restaurant in Hamilton?

The Purple Pear

What does Hamilton need less of? 

Less hate. And less concrete.

What does Hamilton need more of?

More compassion.