Finding friends over Queer Coffee

The monthly social mixer in a downtown coffee house brews connections in the city’s 2SLGBTQIA+ community.

At Queer Coffee Hamilton, the buzz comes from both the coffee and the conversations.  

Queer Coffee is a monthly social mixer at Relay Coffee Roasters on King William Street that started in 2021. Organizer Wolfe Wolfe, a peer support worker at St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton, launched the group on Zoom and it attracted so many people, the meeting crashed.

From there, it became an in-person gathering on the third Thursday of the month from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. And then Sunday Sunsets were added from May to October at the “gayzebo” to the left of the boat launch at Bayfront Park.

At a March gathering, Wolfe (they/them) greets each person with a wide smile and a hello. 

“I want everyone to feel welcome and confident when they come in,” they say. Wolfe started the group as a relative newcomer to Hamilton who was searching for connections.

“I have a touch of anxiety every time about whether people will come. But then they do.”

When the clock ticks 7 p.m., Wolfe asks the group to take part in an ice-breaker. Everyone is asked to say their names, their pronouns and an interesting fact about themselves. The group responds with: “That’s gay!”

Wolfe also asks attendees to sign and leave their thoughts in a journal. The volumes get donated to the LGBT2SQ+ Community Archive at the Hamilton Public Library.  

“I like the community aspect of being with a cool, fun group of people to connect with,” says Crystal, who has been a part of Queer Coffee since the very beginning. “You show up and everyone is your friend.”

The gathering attracts a wide range of ages, from late teens to seniors, and people representing all segments of the Pride flag. There are folks who have been part of Queer Coffee since the very beginning and those who are attending for the first time. Some have moved to Hamilton, others were born here.

“I love the vibe and it’s easy to make friends. I feel like I can express myself here,” said Amarelle, who drives from Cambridge to attend. 

“I’m 33 and it gets harder to meet new friends. I was looking for a queer community, so it’s so great to have a space like this,” says Laura. 

While the city may have lost many dedicated queer bars over the years, Wolfe says many people are searching for quieter spaces to make real connections.

Wolfe also celebrates the growing number of queer social groups and events that have formed in the last number of years in Hamilton, including the Queer Friendship and Action Club that meets at the central library, Uncloseted comedy events at the Staircase Theatre, Sounds Gay open mic nights at Mosaic, and queer music jam at Mainstage Rehearsal Studios.

There are also: the QUARTZ: Queer Art Hang at the Art Gallery of Hamilton, various events at Ooey Gooeys and Vertigogo, local birding events, drag bingo at Farside, Fruit Salad dances, and live action role play games at the Bard & Bear.

Check out Queer Coffee Hamilton and Hamilton Queer Events on Instagram.