Kenadie, how do I talk to pretty girls?
Welcome to the monthly column from Hamilton drag queen Kenadie St. James! Read on for the best bad advice you’ve ever had!
Hamilton, your problems are officially about to get WORSE. 💋
Local drag legend Kenadie St. James is serving up catastrophically bad life advice in her new HAMILTON CITY Magazine column: Bad Advice From A Good Drag Queen.
Think Dear Abby … if Abby was wearing six-inch heels, three wigs, and actively encouraging poor decisions. Read it. Ignore it. Regret everything.
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Dear Kenadie,
I am very nervous when it comes to talking to pretty girls. How do I overcome this so I can find a partner?
Shyly Side-eyeing Across the Room
Dear Shyly,
Darlin’, we’ve all been there and done this song and dance at one time or another. Whether it’s in school, at a bar, or while talking to a seven-foot-tall drag queen whose boobs are looking you in the eye.
First, start by working on your shyness. I was terribly shy before I started performing and telling dick jokes on stage.
I began small. I made eye contact and nodded at people in passing. I said hello and asked the cashier or drive-thru worker how their day was going. Small interactions that were easy to escape if they got awkward.
Eventually, you build up the ability to read people’s facial expressions and body language, and you can usually tell whether they’re enjoying the conversation or looking for an exit. (My own personal autism hack!)
Before you know it, you’ll be asking strangers for directions, complimenting someone on their outfit, and asking drag queens, “Are those real?”
Drinking can help too — but not too much. You’re aiming for courage, not overconfidence.
Second, get yourself and your house in order. Have hobbies. Have friends. Collect life experiences. Go on trips. Take a cooking class. Tip a drag entertainer a ridiculous amount of money.
Those experiences become stories, and when you do meet someone, you’ll have things to share. More importantly, you’ll already be living a full life instead of waiting for someone else to provide one. That’s attractive.
However, I have to mention this: don’t think having a partner is the be-all and end-all. It’s wonderful to have someone to share your life with — don’t get me wrong — but you can absolutely have an exciting, fulfilling life while you’re single.
Lastly, remember that you’re talking to another living, breathing human being. They have insecurities, hopes, and fears just like you.
If you walk over and they’re receptive, great. Thanks to everything you’ve practised, you’ll have stories to tell, questions to ask, and maybe even a hobby you can invite them to try if they seem interested.
Unless the hobby is in your mom’s basement or your pants, then please don’t.
If they tease you a little when you approach them, don’t automatically be put off. Sometimes people make a playful jab to see how confident someone is. Confidence and humour are powerful. I’ve seen them outperform good looks and money time and time again.
Again, use the skills you practised earlier. Are they smiling and facing you? Good. Rolling their eyes and turning away? Probably time to leave.
If that second one happens, don’t be discouraged. Not everyone is going to be your person. Some people are simply judgmental, and that’s more about them than it is about you.
Unless you’re looking for a project — and years of therapy bills — I’d avoid those people. Smile, wish them a good night, and consider it a bullet dodged. (Lesbians, I’m looking at y’all!)
One last thing.
Every happy couple started with somebody risking an awkward first conversation. Nobody walked up with a soundtrack and perfect hair.
Walk over.
Smile.
Say hello.
Worst case? They aren’t interested.
Best case? Years from now, you’ll both laugh about how the person who was once terrified to say hello never seems to shut up.
Until next time,
Kenadie
